Words I couldn't say
by BeSmiley
Summary: It was the first time she saw him since she made the mistake of choosing Chuck. She didn't imagine it to be like this, with her singing on stage after losing a stupid bet to Serena. - Just a little Dair OS


**After much deliberation, I am posting this little OS I wrote a while ago. I actually thought about changing it since Come what may is definitely my Klaine song (from glee if anyone doesn't know :) ) but I realized that it was actually kind of nice to have it here. It's the first (and until now only) gossip girl fic I have ever written. So let me know what you think, for example if the characters weren't too OOC or if the story was believable or not (I'm thinking Blair and singing here xD) :) **

**Anyway, thanks for reading :) Enjoy!**

**I don't own the characters or the songs! **

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It was the first time she saw him since she made the mistake of choosing Chuck. She didn't imagine it to be like this, with her singing on stage after losing a stupid bet to Serena. _Come on Blair just two songs_, she told herself. She took a deep breath and took the mic out of the waiting hand of the organizer of the party and smiled disdainfully at him.

"I…. I'm not going to say anything besides: they forced me."

People laughed and she faked a smile. _Here goes nothing_.

"_In a book, in a box, in the closet_

_In a line, in a song I once heard_

_In a moment on a front porch late one June_

_In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon_

_There it was at the tips of my fingers_

_There it was on the tip of my tongue_

_There you were and I had never been that far_

_There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms_

_And I let it all slip away"_

She closed her eyes, trying to think of a way to get out of there. She knew she could sing, she loved singing but not in front of those wannabe powerful people. Why she choose that song was beyond herself. In fact, she knew exactly why but chose to ignore it. She decided that it had nothing to do with the beautiful curly haired man watching her sing, Georgina hanging on his arms.

"_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No back up plan, no second chance_

_And no one else to blame_

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

_Are the words I couldn't say_

_There's a rain that will never stop fallin'_

_There's a wall that I tried to take down_

_What I should have said just wouldn't pass my lips_

_So I held back and now we've come to this"_

She opened her eyes to try to block the meaning of the words flowing out of her mouth.

"_And it's too late now_

_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No back up plan, no second chance_

_And no one else to blame_

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

_Are the words I couldn't say_

_I should have found the way to tell you how I felt_

_Now the one I'm telling is myself_

_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No back up plan, no second chance_

_And no one else to blame_

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

_Are the words I couldn't say_

_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No back up plan, no second chance_

_And no one else to blame_

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

_Are the words I couldn't say_

_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No back up plan, no second chance_

_And no one else to blame_

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

_Are the words I couldn't say"_

She sighed. _One more to go then I can go kill Serena… or Georgina, either way it'll be okay_, she thought. She wasn't really sure what song to sing afterwards. She was swaying a bit back and forth thinking of what to sing when her eyes fell on him again and a distant memory of a movie they saw together fell upon her. She sighed again not sure of her choice and went to tell it to the musician.

"_Never knew I could feel like this_

_Like I've never seen the sky before_

_I want to vanish inside your kiss_

_Every day I'm loving you more and more_

_Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings_

_Telling me to give you everything"_

Her voice broke… _Everything_… Oh! How she wished for it to be true. She kept on singing, her beautiful voice traveling towards him, seeping into his body, crawling in his veins right towards his heart.

"_Seasons may change, Winter to spring_

_But I love you until the end of time_

_Come what May_

_Come what May_

_I will love you, until my dying day"_

She took a deep breath, berating herself for sounding so broken, so demanding. Cursing her voice for betraying her and showing how much it hurt her not to have him beside her.

"_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place_

_Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace_

_Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste_

_It all revolves around you"_

She hadn't had the courage to look at him until then, turning towards the curly man right at the end of the sentence. She never thought about it until then but it described what she was feeling perfectly. Since a few months she could do nothing but think about him at any given moment, wanting, _needing_ him by her side, kissing her, holding her. She wasn't supposed to feel like this, to be this dependent on him. She was a Waldorf, she was powerful and she set the rules. People were supposed to follow her, to fulfill all her desires. He was supposed to be one of them, yet here she was, the one to beg him to love her as much as she loves him.

"_And there's no mountain too high_

_No river too wide_

_Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side_

_Storm clouds may gather_

_And stars may collide_

_But I love you until the end of time_

_Come what may_

_Come what may_

_I will love you until my dying day"_

She ended the song there, not capable to hold herself any longer. Every eye was on her. Serena's confused eyes, Chuck's mocking one, her mother's uncomfortable ones…. She didn't know what possessed her to accept Serena's challenge and cursed her blonde friend for this. She sighed, shifting uncomfortably and ran out of the scene, trying hard to still be the chic and elegant woman everyone knew and hated. Once she was hidden in the never ending mass of people she quickly made her way toward the doors and bolted out of the building. She was nearly one block away when she felt someone catch her wrist. She tried to take her arm back and turned quickly to see her assailant. She swallowed hard when Dan's deep brown eyes caught her own.

"What was that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Humphrey."

He rolled his eyes, clearly not believing her. "Do I need to remind you that you chose him?"

Her wall which so cleverly and meticulously built began to crumble. "I'm not sure if you understand me Humphrey but I'm going to reiterate what I just told you since some Brooklyn germs must have destroyed a bit of your neurons. I don't know what you're talking about."

It seems to set him off since he passed an exasperated hand into his hair, sighing harshly.

"Blair, you can't act as if you didn't just look at me while singing that you loved me!" He said, tightening his hold on her wrist a bit.

"Who said I was looking at you, Cabbage Patch?"

He huffed. "You know what? Fine, you want to act as if nothing happened? Then fine!"

He snatched his hand away as if her touch burned him and turned around, walking away.

"I made a mistake."

He froze. She didn't know if it was because of what she said or because of the tone in which she said it. Anyway, Blair Waldorf had never sounded more vulnerable than in that instant. Dan turned around slowly.

"What?"

"I made a mistake." She said again, louder this time. She didn't wait for him to say something and sprinted into his arms. "I should have chosen you. It was you all along and I'm sorry I didn't answer back but I was afraid. The only two people I ever said it to broke my heart and I didn't want you to break it so I broke yours but the instant I said to Chuck that I chose him I knew I had made a mistake and I'm so sorry ! I'm not happy. I realized that I was happy when you were the one making me happy. When I saw you tonight I couldn't bear to look at you which doesn't make any sense and I'm sorry and I'm not sure you'll ever forgive me and I'm rambling…."

"I didn't know you could sing that well."

She loosened her hold on him a bit and looked at his face. "Is that the only thing you have to say?"

He laughed bitterly and detangled himself from her. "What do you want me to say? You left me that day, there's nothing more to ad."

"And you are with her now."

He raised an eyebrow "Who?"

She huffed and crossed her arms in front of her. "Who?! Georgina of course!"

He laughed. "You are jealous Waldorf."

She shot him a glare. "I knew doing that was a bad idea."

He nodded. "You're right. We have nothing more to say, you should go back to Chuck." He made a move to go but she stopped him.

"I heard you were leaving New York."

He nodded. "I'm going to Los Angeles. Look Blair, I really need to go now."

She nodded softly. He turned around and took a few steps before sighing and walking to her, kissing her softly. It felt like coming back home, and she loved the feeling.

"I'm sorry Blair."

She kept her eyes close and nodded. He caressed her cheek one more time and turned away. A few meters away from her he stopped dead in his track, the soft uttered words which fell from her lips freezing him.

"What did you say?" He asked, swallowing. Not hearing any answer he turned around and walked to her. He took her by her shoulders, shaking her quickly. "Blair! Say it."

She opened her eyes. "Will you stay?"

He sighed. "Blair what did you say?"

"If you heard me why do you want me to say it again?" She said, tears now streaming down her face.

He took her chin in one hand and caressed her cheek with the other. "I'll stay."

Her eyes got wide, a smile stretching her lips. She had never looked more beautiful to him. "I love you." She said again as softly as before.

He put his forehead against hers. "Why didn't you say it back?"

"I wasn't ready. I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I love you."

His smile widened. "Say it again."

She laughed, tears cascading down her cheeks. "I love you."

"Again."

"I love you." She laughed while he spun her around.

* * *

"What about Chuck?"

They were now in Dan's loft, lying in his bed, face to face.

"I'm going to tell him that it's over and that it should have been that way since a long time."

He nodded, taking her hand. "I love you Blair."

She kissed him. "I love you too."

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**Thank you for reading :)**


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